I never went to my high school prom and I've never felt bad about it either, despite all the sit coms and YA romantic comedies making them seem like the best night in a girl's life. Even in my tender years, I knew what happened at proms.  Bad things--not just pictures of a dress I'd regret or peach schnapps or awkwardness.

No, bad things like pigs' blood, hellhounds and murderous revenge. And if you hadn't done something like taunted a girl to her apparent death so that later you watch your friends die in inventive ways till finally you are killed yourself, then it's the pig's blood crowning for you. A choice between murderous vengeance or pig's blood followed by murderous vengeance isn't much of a choice at all.

Or if it's neither, there's always hellhounds hurtling up from the hellmouth your high school is built on. And, by the looks of it, things won't go much better for the prom king in The Loved Ones, though I wish him well.  There's just no escape from an angry and/or wronged prom queen, not even one from 1957. 

Jamie Lee Curtis is subtly warning you.

 It's just not going to go well. Really. 

Hellhounds are a constant danger!

The Loved Ones screens at TIFF on: Sunday September 11, 11:59PM - RYERSON / Tuesday September 15, 3:30PM - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2 / Thursday September 17, 6:30PM - VARSITY 4