I should mention that this blog post is spoiler-ific!

So unless you've already seen Irreversible, Martyrs (which I haven't but will speculate about)  Funny Games or (either version) or even "Inside" -- be wary treading deeper into this post! Go back and return when you are properly equipped, but by all means, continue if you just don't care.

I might even pad it with other movies you want to see, but this is all the warning you get.

In preparation for Martyrs , this year's mean spirited entry , I rented and saw for the first time "Funny Games". The US version, with Naomi Watts (The Ring), who also served as the executive producer.

BACKGROUND: With my ear to the street, Internet, and intuition.. .From what I gather on Martyrs, is that it's the equivalent of last year's MM selection "Inside" only more like a punch to the genital unit with no apology after. That's not very nice. Cause saying your sorry means something to the viewing audience. To me, this means... Repaying the directly proportionate emotional investment with interest, dividends in the form of just deserts for the offending party.

Because there's a bond of trust with the viewing audience. We've been placated for so long with cookie-cutter content, that it almost becomes religiously required for a film to own up to it's misbehavior, and have all major injustices undone, made even-- or worse: The surviving protagonist character could learn something! They could walk away stronger!

Like it was a good thing their loved ones were raped, murdered, mutilated before their eyes.

This is something these movies OWE us, right? If we're going to see two girls slaughtered in the Last House on the Left, we're for damn sure not leaving until some parents rev up a chainsaw, and carve out some justice.

Sure, it's only fair. It's cathartic. It's a natural fulfillment algorithm that works every time. Set up some mildly likable people, send in the psychos, and the drama will take care of itself. Bad guys go in, Good guys come out. Having become a stronger, more caring, compassionate person-- at the cost of savagely killing their aggressors.

Irreversible did it backwards, and some how, I was starting to get the point, but still didn't grasp it. Alfred Hitchcock did it right with Psycho, by killing off a major protagonist early in the story... but I still wouldn't get the gist of it, until about forty-five minutes ago when I saw Funny Games.

Horror, by definition, isn't supposed to be cathartic. You're supposed to suffer. It's a "Give-the Consumer-a-Pleasant-Product-so-they-can-come-back-again" mentality that enforces what we believe to be proper three act structure.

So, I'd hope that redeems me somewhat, for not actually enjoying the torment that occurs in "Funny Games". At least before I forced myself outside of the situation, and saw it all to be very clever; an unfortunate way for me to escape dealing with absolute horror unfolding in front of me. That maybe it's only redeeming quality-- it's horror film you won't enjoy.

What I'm left with, is a vacancy similar to what I'm expecting to experience with the hyped to be harrowing "Martyrs".

And of course, people are going to complain! That's how you know it's worth seeing; by the outcry of the protests; by responses that are weighed more on emotion than valid unbiased criticism.

On imdb.com , Funny Games sits somewhere around a six out of ten. This is a movie that's shot by arguably the best cinematographer in the entire world Darius Khondji (Seven, City of lost Children). It's a movie that more often than not cuts away from the violence (forcing gorehounds to deal with the emotional gravity of the situation). It's convincingly acted. Dialogue, for the most part, in the realm of realism. Can't complain about the score, cause there is none. Nothing wrong with the edit. Breaks some conventional film making rules, but only to add to the story. So why the bad rating? Because it's rotten to the core, and that's hard to deal with.

So why, some of you might be asking, do I want to see a movie like this? Because movies, my friends, are drugs. And they're still legal. They are emotions wrapped in celluloid, you agree? Well, I enjoy romantic comedies more than I'd like to admit... But, I want to feel with all of my soul. I want new sensations, with the only side effect being lingering emotion. It's the closest you can get to living without leaving your couch!

How else could you feel such low lows, such euphoric highs-- without being locked up, evicted, left with lasting guilt?

That said, Midnight Madness is crack for the movie junkie!

Use responsibly.